The baled of Gnelf Gnef.

There once was a gnome wizard named Gnelf Gnef , who traveled the world seeking knowledge.  But one day, human pirates attacked the ship and stole Gnelf`s spell book and wand, then sold him to orcs dressed as business men.  The orcs took poor Gnelf to their tribe were they tied him to a pole with magic restraining rope, then proceeded to beat him with oak poles, a short nap, then they beat him again.  Finally, the orcs realized that they had been beating Gnelf so much he couldn't do any work, so they sold him to a family of goblins, who splash hot oil on him for no reason.  By that time, Gnelf realized he could work his magic, so he threw a few acid balls then hit the road, where he was captured by human thugs and was hit with clubs.  By the end, Gnelf discovered the most important piece of knowledge, he was a gnome, and they are very weak and cowardly (most of the time) they also spend a lot of their time under their covers.  And for the rest of his life, Gnelf Gnef never left his house again.

                         -Thefus the Bard.